Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
