My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
