when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
literally had 100 drinks last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
