Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just had sex bonerless
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
