The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
