I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
