he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
