Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
