I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The air was thick with penises
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
