I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
