You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
