I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
