Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
