we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
