it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's the barista slut.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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