You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
