If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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