So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
