OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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