No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
