note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
