Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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