big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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