Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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