If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
