:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
