On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
