No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God I need to hump something, right now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
