Banned from zoo.
Again?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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