I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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