God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
