so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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