Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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