I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
