By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
