I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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