She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
