that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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