Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
