Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
