And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
