Pants 0. Shit 1.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
