Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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