that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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