I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
