I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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