She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
