There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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