it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
