also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
