I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
