walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
