he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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